Why choose the path of music? Why can’t you choose a major like finance, or law, or a doctor like a normal person? Music can’t bring you a lot of money, maybe you can only earn change on the roadside or subway station with a guitar in the future. I’ve heard this question countless times before, and this time it made me question my inner choices. But should everyone choose a major that everyone thinks will make money, like most people, and live the same life day after day? No, I don’t agree with this kind of life. I have the right to choose what I like and I am willing to work hard for it. Even if it doesn’t give much wealth. But at least I’m willing to try, just so that I won’t regret in the days to come that I’ve chosen the same life as most people. This is who am I. My name is Haoyuan Xu and you can call me Dylan. A guitarist, a big fan of music, the one who is obsessed with computer games, these are part of me. I was born in China twenty-three years ago. I came from a widespread family, neither rich nor broke. But my life experience is destined to be full of changes.

     I am currently living in Brooklyn, New York City, with my family in a two-bedroom apartment. The journey from an urban area of China to perhaps the world’s most cosmopolitan city was a big change for my whole family and me. My mother became the provider, she has to work very hard to earn money to keep us alive. So once when we came to NYC, we faced immense economic problems. Even though I had access to free education, the pressure of paying rent, transportation, and cost of living is still present. My mother finally found a job as Shirtwaist Maker in the factory. The job pays for our survival, but it also takes a heavy toll on her body. She was suffering from cracked skin and bone and that broke my heart. I was trying to help, but I can’t earn so much money because I am a teenager. Fortunately, I was able to find a part-time job to provide for my daily needs. The left all goes to my mom. Even though it cannot help a lot, I feel like this is the least I can do.

      But it turns out that changing from one lifestyle to another is not that easy. A new language, a new culture, and even new academic subjects, just like you are going to learn all the different things from a new life. Although I was put in an ESL class, most of my classmates have a strong academic background. But I had to learn all the subjects from practically the ground up. I tried hard, but it was really hard when everyone was sprinting and I was still learning how to walk. I have to spend a lot of time catching up because I know that my future is counting on it. 

      Afterward, there was one thing that made me understand how important it is to improve my literacy. Because I realized that I am the only one who knows English, which means I have the responsibility to take care of my family. A lot of times, I have to help my family members deal with most things. I remember that it was not long after I came to America, that my grandparents hoped I could help them to apply for the SSI. That was the first time I felt so embarrassed because I did not know many professional words but I had to translate for them. Therefore, it was hard to communicate with the staff but luckily we still accomplished this. That was the first time I realized the importance of literacy and made up my mind to learn English well.

        Looking back, my life was not as bad as I thought. An important turning point in my life was when I asked my father to teach me how to play the guitar. Therefore, he tried to search for some scores online and taught me how to press the chord. He did his best to support me to go further and further on the music road. He patiently demonstrated how to play beautiful melodies, even though I did it wrong many times. Learning to play guitar is hard at first because you need to press the strings with your fingertips to the fretboard to prevent the noise, but it also means your fingers will suffer a lot of pain. I also thought about giving up a lot during that time because you need to watch a lot of scores that are full of detailed notes and do a lot of practice every day. My fingers are constantly complaining of its misery. But every time I wanted to give up, the doubts and distrust of those people always came to my mind. The taunts they gave me became the motivation for me to persevere, allowing me to make up my mind to keep practicing. That’s why I finished my first song and performance and got a round of applause from the audience. So sometimes I’m grateful for the questioning and sarcasm that some people used to say to me, so I can slide my fingers, press every string, play every note, and complete a beautiful piece of music.

     All in all, I know that it’s tough to get used to a new society. But I am trying my best to fit into it. I will try harder to communicate with people to improve my speaking and listening, although I am not very good at these things yet. I will try to participate in more social activities so that I can truly integrate into the lifestyle of people in the new society. And I will make what I love —— music, more brilliant in the new society.